I need help removing her.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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