I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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