I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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