I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize