there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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