She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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