I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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