it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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