...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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