youre lurking in front of me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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