And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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