your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I really donβt want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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