Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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