I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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