with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
