when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
