my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
