there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
