I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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