Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
