Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
