i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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