Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
