Kiss
Puke
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
