remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
