We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
