I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
