And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
