If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
