The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
