office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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