he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize