Pregnant stripper...not hot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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