Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize