shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
