I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
