Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
