chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
