Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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