what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
