1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
