It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Even my vagina gasped.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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