woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize