This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize