Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Congratulations! We have a period
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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