i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
