another moral hangover. fuck.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
