New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
