Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
