He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
