Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
