i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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