barbara walters just said penis...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
