I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
