are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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