Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
