All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
3 2 1 whiskey
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
