My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
