i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
