you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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