I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
